Beyond 50/50
Marriage, I’ve learned, is not a constant 50/50. It would be convenient if it were—fair in the way spreadsheets are fair. Neat columns, equal rows, a perfect balance you could point to and say, See? We’re both doing exactly the same. But marriage does not live in spreadsheets. It lives in real life. And real life is uneven. This past week, John was the lead tech on a new project at work. Every morning, he left earlier than our usual 7:15, and every evening he didn’t get home until after 8 pm. Usually, we have an unspoken system: if one cooks, the other washes the dishes. It’s our version of domestic diplomacy. But last week, I handled all the cooking, all the washing, and the small, invisible tasks that keep a home from falling apart. John would come home utterly exhausted, able only to eat, shower, and go straight to bed. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not complaining. I did it gladly, and I'd continue to do it even if it lasted a month, or a year. (I’m grateful, though, that the commissi...
